09 May 2025
The Let Them Theory Review And Book Club Questions
Reviewed by: Melissa Ng
Quick Facts
Book Publication Date: 24 December 2024
How I Read It: Borrowed from my local library
Where You Can Find The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins: Amazon Australia* | Kobo US* | Kobo Canada*
The Let Them Theory Summary
If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or exhausted trying to manage everyone else’s expectations, this book wants to tell you: the problem isn’t you.
It’s that you’re trying to control things you can’t. According to Mel Robbins, the solution lies in two simple words: Let Them.
In The Let Them Theory, Robbins presents a mindset shift that encourages readers to stop micromanaging relationships, outcomes, and other people’s opinions — and instead redirect that energy into their own happiness and goals (Let Me).
Rooted in themes of detachment and personal empowerment, the book explores how to apply the theory across key areas of life: work, love, friendship, parenting, self-worth, and more.
The tone is warm and direct, and the writing style is approachable, making this an easy read even for those new to personal development.
The goal is simple: stop reacting to what everyone else is doing, and start focusing on what matters to you.
The Let Them Theory Review
Here’s the thing: the core concept behind The Let Them Theory is solid — but it’s far from new.
Robbins presents this idea as something revelatory, but it’s been covered extensively in other frameworks like stoicism, Buddhism, psychology, therapy, and detachment work. And while she does mention these roots briefly, the book reads like Robbins is introducing a never-before-heard philosophy she personally discovered — which doesn’t sit right.
I first came across this idea when Robbins posted a TikTok about the Let Them theory (which went viral), which then became a podcast episode, then multiple podcast episodes, and now a full-blown book.
That kind of virality-to-book pipeline is nothing new, but the lack of credit to original sources makes this one feel more like a cash grab than a genuine contribution to the self-help genre.
If you’ve never been to therapy, struggle with boundaries, or constantly overextend yourself to keep the peace, then yes — there’s something here for you.
The concept of letting go of what you can’t control is powerful (although not new). And Robbins is a compelling speaker. The book is written in a conversational tone with simple language and lots of personal anecdotes.
But for anyone who’s already familiar with detachment work or has read books like Codependent No More by Melody Beattie* (one my therapist recommended to me, and which I feel covers the topic of detachment better), this may feel shallow and repetitive by comparison.
It also doesn’t help that there are plagiarism allegations surrounding this book.
Many readers have pointed out that The Let Them Theory strongly resembles a poem by Cassie Phillips, shared online.
To be clear, Robbins hasn’t addressed this directly in the book — and while I won’t go deep into the controversy here, I encourage you to look it up and form your own opinion. You can read Cassie’s statement on Facebook, or check out coverage from creators like Andy Mort and Sage Justice.
Memorable The Let Them Theory Quotes
Other people hold no real power over you unless you give it to them.
All human beings have a hardwired need for control…Feeling in control makes you feel comfortable and safe, so naturally you try to control everyone and everything around you – oftentimes, without even realizing it…You will never be able to control or change another person. The only person you are in control of is you. Your thoughts, your actions, your feelings.
When you say Let Them, you make a conscious decision not to allow other people’s behavior to bother you. When you say Let Me, you take responsibility for what YOU do next.
The Let Them Theory Book Club Questions
- How did you hear about The Let Them Theory?
- Were you a fan of Mel Robbins before reading this book?
- How would you describe the core message of the book in your own words?
- Have you read any other self help or personal development books? How does The Let Them Theory compare?
- Did any of Robbins’ personal anecdotes resonate with you?
- What did you think of the writing style – was it effective, or too surface-level?
- How do you think the Let Them theory compares to other schools of thought like stoicism?
- What do you make of the internet craze surrounding the Let Them theory? Why do you think it has become so viral?
- What do you think of the controversies surrounding this book? Does it change your opinion about the book or of Robbins?
- Will you be implementing the Let Them theory into your own life?
- Did you learn anything practical from the book?
- Was there anything in the book you strongly agreed or disagreed with?
- Would you recommend this book to someone new to personal development?
- Have you read any other books by Mel Robbins like The 5 Second Rule* or The High 5 Habit*?
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